Welcome to February, the month of relationships! Valentine’s Day got me thinking about what is the basis of a healthy relationship. One of the most important relationships we foster outside of families and partners’ is our relationship with money. Sometimes we inherit such a relationship from our family, whether that is an abundance or scarcity depends a lot on our socioeconomic status at the time. Whether you got a full ride scholarship or if you attended a private university with a large tuition bill, these two situations can heavily impact how secure you feel about money and the future.
First, I want to be clear that working on your finances is not going to fix an unlivable wage. Lots of workers are underpaid for various reasons, and I am not going to preach that budgeting is going to solve everybody’s financial troubles. Having said that, there are ways for low and high income earners to work on their money mindset. A scarcity money mindset can look different for you and the next person. Some examples include: yo-yo budgeting, constantly thinking of being behind others and NEED to catch up, not allowing one to dream, or having difficulty with being generous. Changing a scarcity money mindset starts with challenging these beliefs. Something I have learned from cognitive behavior therapy is that challenging our “unhelpful” thoughts can change the way we feel about certain situations.
With this post, I want to advocate that our relationship with money is not fixed. Like any other relationship, it can change, but more importantly it can grow and flourish. For my household, finances have been a topic that we have grown so much over the last 5 years. We are both immigrants to the US and our parents believed that education was a main goal, meritocracy is fair, and that debt is evil. However, there were differences in our money mindsets which became apparent when we started living together. I know it’s cliché, but communication was the key to our progress. Some examples include: budgeting, car loans, bulk buying, and our favorite toothpaste. Needless to say we both needed to give in a little. Today, I can say that working on being in the best financial shape possible has strengthened our relationship and also the relationship with our parents.
If any of these topics resonated with you please feel free to review this FREE presentation on working towards a healthy relationship with money. Please consider joining this newsletter or the one-on-one coaching program. You can also recommend my seminars to your graduate program/fellowship office, or send my website to your graduate program chat/slack/email list. Looking forward to connecting with many of you 🥰
Talking about finances with loved ones can be so intimidating! Inheriting a money mindset was really interesting for me to think about. My sister and I got to observe a lot of the same thoughts and behaviors around money but have very different approaches to our personal finances.
What a great perspective to consider my relationship with money like any other relationship. It will fluctuate and change with time and life circumstances. The idea of growing my relationship with money helps me celebrate milestones, make compromises, and understand that I’m not perfect!